fresh to death

New Years Eve. huh.

what do you think? how was your year? i dont know about you, but i still dont understand what happened.

weird stuff.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2613389/1/2156

read this. :)

I dont have much to say, i just wanted to have more posts than november. :)

She's fresh to death, she'll be the death of you.
Seduction leads to destruction.

by the ocean

!!WARNING!!
!!MOMENT OF INSECURITY APPROACHING!!

*sigh*

you ever look at those pictures of girls on myspace that look rly pretty without even trying?

i wish i could be like that.

I want to take pictures with my friends and feel like im pretty. instead of feeling rly not pretty next to my amazingly georgeous friends. how does that work out, eh?

i want to take a good picture for once, so i can have a decent myspace default. not one that hides half my face.

i want to take random pictures that i can laugh at without cringing.

i want to take a picture that someone else wants.

i want to be considered pretty enough to be an sm.

i want to goof off and be in pictures, instead of hiding behind people and/or taking them.

i want to feel pretty.

**and yess im hung up on pictures right now.

I had a dream last night we, made love by the ocean.

new link

okhay, so that link i gave you won't work anymore. I changed the title and added a new chapter. Its an actual story now. not just a one shot!!

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2607190/1/Oh_My_God_Im_In_Love_With_My_Best_Friend

hhehhe.

in the moment

So the wedding yesterday was rly kool.

and the only reason i have a JB song is cuz they played it at the reception and now its stuck in my head.

i talked for like an hour with this guy. idk. today its just like, oh. hmm. whatever. it happened, i dont rly care.

but yeah. it was nice. their first dance was to Come What May. i mean, how cool is that?

haha, majorly. im jealous.

not much else to say. still confused. stuck in my head. wont fricking leave.

*sigh* idk. i leave you with happiness. hhehhe, everybody gets their presents tomorrow.

Head over heels in the Moment..

every phrase

*sigh*

i just finished watching the holiday GG that was on the box.

I hate watching T.V. peoples happiness.

Whatever, positive.

and guess what!! im confused again!! over the same thing!! only different!! if that makes sense.

and Tiffani hasnt.......*ahem* just texted me back. finally!!!

hhahha, all my holiday shopping is done, and i feel kinda bad that i got four people the same thing in different colors. but im horribly uncreative and dont know them as well as i know Tiff and Lizz, so....yeah. idk.

and i should have done this after i mentioned it but, here it is.

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2607190/1/The_Sting_of_Fantasy_vs_Reality

mother, if you click on this i will cheerful shoot you to death.

thats all. enjoy. and if you get the chance, check out my other stuff.

But I get carried away with every phrase and ev'ry fantasy..

i wonder who it will be?

so not much has happened lately.

This is all that has happened:

• Bob won Survivor
• I am getting more and more pissed in Basketball, and more and more convinced not to do it next year.
• Green Bird has gotten stuck in my head rly bad.
• Lizz is right, hes a stranger. That makes me sad.
• I joined Intermediate Chorus

yeah.... its a mix of good and bad. and my Dad just yelled at me to turn Green Bird off......

idk. What shall i do about the bad?

and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?

they fall in bed, they sing

i think. im gonna start.....

speaking my mind.

Sry Lauren. Its better this way.

And they fall in love, as they fall in bed, they sing.

this useless heart

well its official, i dont exist.

no one comments me. im not whining but jeez, a little recognition would be nice....

well, it happened.

Hope fucking killed me.

In the BAND ROOM!!

and no not cause of the teacher or class........

Hope killed me.
HOPE KILLED ME!!!!

how pathetic is that. im writing a fucking one shot on it. check it out. Lizz can scold me for how pathetic i am, Lauren can pretend to sympathize, Tiff can empathize while we wollow in our misery. mmhmm. its gonna be a good story. Fantasy vs. Reality.

and my new obbsession playlist?

its called Broken Heart.

I'll destroy this useless heart, I'll fuck it up so it'll never beat again.
Not just for me but for anyone...

close my eyes

You know what else i hate?

Forwards and shit like that about God.

I srsly want to tell people, I DONT BELIEVE IN HIM. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. THERES NO GUY 'UPSTAIRS'. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

but then of course people give me the same kind of look that i get from the books. like 'holy shit i just ran into a child of the devil' you know what shut the fuck up.

what the fucks so wrong with not believing in what you do??!! just because im not a fucking sheep doesnt mean im weird!! im not some freak. like once at the end of l7th grade i told people my beliefs on the subject and Tori was just like 'oh. i didnt know that' and then at a track meet there they all were in a prayer circle. a fucking prayer circle. I walked past and Tori gave me this dirty look like, 'you cant come near, we're good. your not.'

WHAT!!!!

it baffled me. and then after Kenzie grilled me out on it, i kinda shut up. i dont tell people much now. i know i freak people out. i dont want to. so i just try to be quiet about what i think. which is what makes this kind of hard. i dont like to let people in. I swear, if Tiffani hadnt intervened, Greg would still be ttly in the dark.

its a sad sad existence.

I, close, my eyes, and I smile, knowing that everything is alright.

hand grenade pins

i hate my horoscope.

i mean it describes my personality perfectly, but its predictions are ttly weird. Like for the past like ever (since August I believe) it has predicted me a boyfriend. hell once i read that i would have them lined up. hhahhahhahha.

now ik i sound like a broken record but, im not bitter about it, (okay myb a little, but only when im having a bad moment) and so far i dont plan to.

idk. i felt the need to say that cause i just read my december horoscope and it said a message from my crush would be delivered to my inbox on the 7th.

whatever.....

Hand Grenade Pins in Every Line