close my eyes

You know what else i hate?

Forwards and shit like that about God.

I srsly want to tell people, I DONT BELIEVE IN HIM. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. THERES NO GUY 'UPSTAIRS'. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

but then of course people give me the same kind of look that i get from the books. like 'holy shit i just ran into a child of the devil' you know what shut the fuck up.

what the fucks so wrong with not believing in what you do??!! just because im not a fucking sheep doesnt mean im weird!! im not some freak. like once at the end of l7th grade i told people my beliefs on the subject and Tori was just like 'oh. i didnt know that' and then at a track meet there they all were in a prayer circle. a fucking prayer circle. I walked past and Tori gave me this dirty look like, 'you cant come near, we're good. your not.'

WHAT!!!!

it baffled me. and then after Kenzie grilled me out on it, i kinda shut up. i dont tell people much now. i know i freak people out. i dont want to. so i just try to be quiet about what i think. which is what makes this kind of hard. i dont like to let people in. I swear, if Tiffani hadnt intervened, Greg would still be ttly in the dark.

its a sad sad existence.

I, close, my eyes, and I smile, knowing that everything is alright.