Been feeling very down lately.
Empty houses can do that.
Took a longer leg on my bike today.
Needed it.
Tomorrow I should shoot for Owego.
I need it.
Took the dog for a walk.
Daddy was home for all of 15 minutes.
Mad about the mess everywhere.
Which is a valid feeling.
Well, my Dad's version of slightly annoyed/mad.
Cleaned up the table for him.
Took dog for walk as I said.
Get home at 5:30.
Am home alone again for another hour.
I read a book that I've read a billion times before.
Daddy gets back....
Wait until 8:00 for Mommy and Em to show with dinner.
Mom gets pissed that no one's turned on a fan in the damned house.
Smooth for a while.
No one interacts with anyone.
Peace.
Then Emma turns on 16 and Pregnant.
She and my Mother start yelling at each other.
They can deny it but they were yelling.
I go on the computer to play solitaire.
I can't stand the ratty little silence,
I go for my Ipod.
I step on some board in the hallway from Emma's renovations.
It cracks a little under my fat ass.
My Mom starts yelling at Emma for not cleaning up.
I slide in my headphones and watch them as falsely cheery music blasts through too loud.
I came here to make you dance tonight, I don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you. Shut Up. Cause we: Won't Stop. We're gettin' down 'til the suns comin' up.
I cannot stand the scene in front of me.
I feel jittery, nervous, and confused.
Why?
I don't know.
I go outside as fast as I can walk,
Skirting ripped up carpet from Em in the backroom.
I go sit on the pool deck.
I have some peace for a minute.
Emma comes out.
She waves at me.
I wave and look away.
She wanders around.
Always catching my eye so I can't concentrate.
She finally goes away behind the shed.
Candles comes on.
Blow the Candles out, looks like a solo tonight...But I think I'll be alright.
I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness and frustration.
I come in,
Head straight to my computer.
I needed a serious blogging session.
Reading the lyrics to 6 Months really didn't help.
and I can't think of anybody else I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you.
By Harper
My Fireworks Stuff
2 comments:
There is no one on the planet that can irritate me as quickly as your sister....except maybe for your Grandma...but I don't have the pleasure of yelling at her the way I do Emma. Don't let it bother you. I would sooner die than hurt either of you...but I am human and I do get angry and I do need to vent. No matter what, I will always love you both and be your greatest defender and supporter.
sounds like you need a vacation??? maybe you and tiff should come stay or just you.. i've been bored i a quiet house too and i think i'm going insane, plus... you can read part of my new story!! and don't worry about em, shes a teenager going through that stupid stuff.... and the yelling thing.... yea its bound to happen and i hate it too when my mom and brother yell at each other... cause my mom doesnt yell that much and when she does its scary... i used to spen alot of time in my room, pretending not to hear.. so yea, we shoukd ahng out!
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