1.TrigHon
2.Bio
3.English10
4.Gym Day2&4
4.WritingLab Day3
4.StudyHall Day1
5.Photography
6.SS10Hon
7.Lunch
8.ConcertBand Day1&3
8.BioLab Day2
8.StudyHall Day4
9.SeniorChorus Day1&3
9.SelectChorus Day2&4
Soo,
First three period from hell.
I have Gym with Belyea :'((
Got into Photography! :DD
Honors SS this time with y'all :))
Still in Concert Band.... :\
So's far as I know you're all in Symphonic...... :\
And if I don't know,
I'm guessing you probably all are...
I'm happy I got everything I wanted,
With some Study Halls in there.
Just gotta see who I got what with now :))
That was back when I was still, I was still in love. Til I opened my eyes and walked out the door, and the clouds came tumblin' down.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
gets high with a little help
Icky oww.
I have a stupid 0varian (yst thanger.
I got super ibuprofen out of the deal but it still hurts a bit.
Spent all day yesterday at the hospital,
Got coolio bracelets from them.
Gotta take the next couple days easy.
E.G. no practice.
But still, yesterday was pretty awesome despite the fact that I had to drink literally a gallon of water and get and ultr@sound that requires pushing down on my full bladder.
So, uh, why'd ya call me?
I ran out of minutes and felt we were having a conversation.
hhehhe.
We kind of weren't due to the fact that you were lost, confused, and possibly high(jk).
But still....
Funny how 18 minutes can pretty much make up for a whole day
:DD
I get by with a little help from my friends, get's high with a little help from his friends.
I have a stupid 0varian (yst thanger.
I got super ibuprofen out of the deal but it still hurts a bit.
Spent all day yesterday at the hospital,
Got coolio bracelets from them.
Gotta take the next couple days easy.
E.G. no practice.
But still, yesterday was pretty awesome despite the fact that I had to drink literally a gallon of water and get and ultr@sound that requires pushing down on my full bladder.
So, uh, why'd ya call me?
I ran out of minutes and felt we were having a conversation.
hhehhe.
We kind of weren't due to the fact that you were lost, confused, and possibly high(jk).
But still....
Funny how 18 minutes can pretty much make up for a whole day
:DD
I get by with a little help from my friends, get's high with a little help from his friends.
Monday, August 24, 2009
i think im ready
The other day,
I redid my FP profile.
It was an attempt to describe myself.
Sort of.
And I did kind of a half ass job cause I didn't want it to be to long.
So, I wanna try now.
Dk why.
Just do.
I'm Harper.
I live in New York.
I'm 15.
16 on February 4th, 2010.
Sometimes I'm unhappy a lot.
I feel like an outsider unless I'm hanging with certain people.
I'm kind of a loner.
I hate social functions.
I've never had a boyfriend.
Like a real, treat you right boyfriend.
At the same time that I really want that,
It also scares me cause I don't know anything about anything.
I like to read.
I should read at my level more,
But they don't really write for girls at my age.
I hate being around people because in some way or another I always feel left out.
I'm not fat per say,
But I'm also not skinny.
I really have few qualms about this.
No seriously.
It could be worse.
I used to be a cutter.
It only went on for a month,
Then I was found out.
I will openly admit that sometimes I think about it.
Then I just go read MLIA because it makes me so inexplicably happy,
All thought of that just go away.
I don't know why it works,
But I'm gonna roll with it.
This has really inspired me to get a TWLOHA tattoo.
Sometimes I wish I was still little.
Cause lately everyone around me seems to be moving while I'm still standing alone.
Every once in a while someone takes the time to walk back and get me,
And I appreciate that so much.
I hardly ever come up with my own originality.
I spew quotes from everything all the time.
People seem to think I'm funny,
But I'm really not so funny.
I don't know where they get that idea.
I'm not cutting myself down bytheby.
I'm really happy with who I am right now.
Probably the happiest with me as me as I've been in a year or so.
You know, teen angst puberty shit :))
Don't take this as a cry for help.
I'm not looking for everyone to say poor Harper.
I'm me.
Fucking deal with it.
Oh yeah,
Sometimes I swear too much.
It's a problem at times.
I sing.
People seem to think its good,
But I just see it as I'm loud.
I do feel proud when this so called talent takes me places.
I kind of aspire to go to NYU and major in History,
With a minor in Art History.
The future doesn't freak me out as much as it used to.
I think that's about it.
I can't think of anything else.
So, that's me.
Ina nutshell.
:))
I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready.
I redid my FP profile.
It was an attempt to describe myself.
Sort of.
And I did kind of a half ass job cause I didn't want it to be to long.
So, I wanna try now.
Dk why.
Just do.
I'm Harper.
I live in New York.
I'm 15.
16 on February 4th, 2010.
Sometimes I'm unhappy a lot.
I feel like an outsider unless I'm hanging with certain people.
I'm kind of a loner.
I hate social functions.
I've never had a boyfriend.
Like a real, treat you right boyfriend.
At the same time that I really want that,
It also scares me cause I don't know anything about anything.
I like to read.
I should read at my level more,
But they don't really write for girls at my age.
I hate being around people because in some way or another I always feel left out.
I'm not fat per say,
But I'm also not skinny.
I really have few qualms about this.
No seriously.
It could be worse.
I used to be a cutter.
It only went on for a month,
Then I was found out.
I will openly admit that sometimes I think about it.
Then I just go read MLIA because it makes me so inexplicably happy,
All thought of that just go away.
I don't know why it works,
But I'm gonna roll with it.
This has really inspired me to get a TWLOHA tattoo.
Sometimes I wish I was still little.
Cause lately everyone around me seems to be moving while I'm still standing alone.
Every once in a while someone takes the time to walk back and get me,
And I appreciate that so much.
I hardly ever come up with my own originality.
I spew quotes from everything all the time.
People seem to think I'm funny,
But I'm really not so funny.
I don't know where they get that idea.
I'm not cutting myself down bytheby.
I'm really happy with who I am right now.
Probably the happiest with me as me as I've been in a year or so.
You know, teen angst puberty shit :))
Don't take this as a cry for help.
I'm not looking for everyone to say poor Harper.
I'm me.
Fucking deal with it.
Oh yeah,
Sometimes I swear too much.
It's a problem at times.
I sing.
People seem to think its good,
But I just see it as I'm loud.
I do feel proud when this so called talent takes me places.
I kind of aspire to go to NYU and major in History,
With a minor in Art History.
The future doesn't freak me out as much as it used to.
I think that's about it.
I can't think of anything else.
So, that's me.
Ina nutshell.
:))
I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
doesnt feel the same
Imagine, if you will, that you are a runner.
Now, imagine you are at cross country practice.
Imagine youir coach says its an easy 4 mile day.
You concede, its really not that bad.
2 miles up a road then 2 miles back.
You set out.
Though you are last and you go slow,
You do the first 2 miles without walking at all.
You feel good about yourself.
At your turning point,
Your coach is there with water and you get a break and a drink before the next half.
Now, imagine you set out again.
You get maybe 200 meters before you suddenly feel something shift in your ankle.
You see what happens and take a couple more strides.
Now, please imagine the most excruciating pain you have ever felt course through your ankle.
You are suddenly fighting bacck tears it hurts so bad.
You stop.
You walk, without moving your ankle because it hurts so bad.
You walk this way for another 200 or so meters.
You test out a normal walk.
Feels fine.
You test a run.
You're completely fine.
A mile later you are running,
Monitoring your ankle,
But you think you can go the rest of the way with no problems.
All of the sudden,
SNAP.
In your ankle.
You wonder if it makes a noise,
Or if you just felt it.
Now the pain is back.
Worse than before.
You can feel something grinding together with each step you take.
Fighting tears again,
You walk once more without moving your ankle.
About 400 meters later,
Its fine.
You run.
You finish.
You stop and the pain comes on but not as bad.
Still enough.
You don't do strides and you can't put a lot of weight on it.
It aches all day.
2pm is PT.
You tell Nicole what happened.
She puts you on the treadmill.
You walk,
No pain or ache.
You run,
No pain or ache.
You walk/run interval for 11 minutes.
Nothing.
You get off and do your exercises.
It comes back and you wince a few times.
At the end, Nicole puts this electrical thingy on you.
Plus ice.
You walk out with that dull ache.
Throughout the day it becomes a nagging ache.
Til now, when it becomes a painful ache.
You ice.
It doesn't go away.
You are worried sick about practice tomorrow.
Can I run?
Should I run?
Will I ever run without this pain?
Shit.
The same doesn't feel the same anymore.
Now, imagine you are at cross country practice.
Imagine youir coach says its an easy 4 mile day.
You concede, its really not that bad.
2 miles up a road then 2 miles back.
You set out.
Though you are last and you go slow,
You do the first 2 miles without walking at all.
You feel good about yourself.
At your turning point,
Your coach is there with water and you get a break and a drink before the next half.
Now, imagine you set out again.
You get maybe 200 meters before you suddenly feel something shift in your ankle.
You see what happens and take a couple more strides.
Now, please imagine the most excruciating pain you have ever felt course through your ankle.
You are suddenly fighting bacck tears it hurts so bad.
You stop.
You walk, without moving your ankle because it hurts so bad.
You walk this way for another 200 or so meters.
You test out a normal walk.
Feels fine.
You test a run.
You're completely fine.
A mile later you are running,
Monitoring your ankle,
But you think you can go the rest of the way with no problems.
All of the sudden,
SNAP.
In your ankle.
You wonder if it makes a noise,
Or if you just felt it.
Now the pain is back.
Worse than before.
You can feel something grinding together with each step you take.
Fighting tears again,
You walk once more without moving your ankle.
About 400 meters later,
Its fine.
You run.
You finish.
You stop and the pain comes on but not as bad.
Still enough.
You don't do strides and you can't put a lot of weight on it.
It aches all day.
2pm is PT.
You tell Nicole what happened.
She puts you on the treadmill.
You walk,
No pain or ache.
You run,
No pain or ache.
You walk/run interval for 11 minutes.
Nothing.
You get off and do your exercises.
It comes back and you wince a few times.
At the end, Nicole puts this electrical thingy on you.
Plus ice.
You walk out with that dull ache.
Throughout the day it becomes a nagging ache.
Til now, when it becomes a painful ache.
You ice.
It doesn't go away.
You are worried sick about practice tomorrow.
Can I run?
Should I run?
Will I ever run without this pain?
Shit.
The same doesn't feel the same anymore.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
dont be scared
Feeling good is doing something you haven't done since you first started.
And before when you did it, you fell a lot and shook and were exhausted by the time you were done with 20.
But feeling good is doing it,
Only having to stop and stretch cause your back got stiff,
And doing all twenty while marveling at the fact that you have muscles.
Feeling good is also coming home,
Getting on the scale,
And not caring that the number went up by two.
Cause you know you're stronger.
And you know your gonna get better.
And you know that you can get better.
Knowing that you're gonna apologize and try to be friends.
Knowing that you really do want to try and get grades that you care about and are proud of.
Knowing you're gonna work hard.
Feeling good is knowing you care about yourself.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own.
And before when you did it, you fell a lot and shook and were exhausted by the time you were done with 20.
But feeling good is doing it,
Only having to stop and stretch cause your back got stiff,
And doing all twenty while marveling at the fact that you have muscles.
Feeling good is also coming home,
Getting on the scale,
And not caring that the number went up by two.
Cause you know you're stronger.
And you know your gonna get better.
And you know that you can get better.
Knowing that you're gonna apologize and try to be friends.
Knowing that you really do want to try and get grades that you care about and are proud of.
Knowing you're gonna work hard.
Feeling good is knowing you care about yourself.
Don't be scared to fly alone, find a path that is your own.
Monday, August 17, 2009
im already dead
So yeah.
Theres kind of alot of stuff that happened but I really don't feel like typing it out.
And I also suck at remembering things for thingss like descriptions.
But I would like to apologize for getting annoyed with you and Adam, Tiff.
I mean I'm happy for you immensely but I will be honest in that its kind of annoying after a while.
Single girl jealousy complex, ya know??
THIS COMPUTER IS BEING ANNOYINGLY SLOW AND FREEZY!
STUPID THINGGG!!!!
It types the word like thirty seconds after I stop and wait.
Grr.
Dat da da.
Ohmigod fucking really??!
This is ridiculous!!
Ugh!!
Call 911, I'm already dead but someone should be caught and held responsible for this bloody mess.
Theres kind of alot of stuff that happened but I really don't feel like typing it out.
And I also suck at remembering things for thingss like descriptions.
But I would like to apologize for getting annoyed with you and Adam, Tiff.
I mean I'm happy for you immensely but I will be honest in that its kind of annoying after a while.
Single girl jealousy complex, ya know??
THIS COMPUTER IS BEING ANNOYINGLY SLOW AND FREEZY!
STUPID THINGGG!!!!
It types the word like thirty seconds after I stop and wait.
Grr.
Dat da da.
Ohmigod fucking really??!
This is ridiculous!!
Ugh!!
Call 911, I'm already dead but someone should be caught and held responsible for this bloody mess.
Friday, August 14, 2009
youre never gonna make it
You ever hear a song that you haven't heard in a week or two??
And you're like, woah. I really love that song.
Yeahh.
I think the song I'm Not Okay by MCR is my new theme song.
It just seems to fit everytime.
:))
"And the only thing I could seem to care about was the fact that I didn't care about anything."
^^Love that movie :))
Actually doing something social this weekend. But I get the feeling I'm gonna be a creeper in a corner watching the goings on. But that's ohkayy with me. Its more comfortable.
You can't swim, you can't dance, and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it.
And you're like, woah. I really love that song.
Yeahh.
I think the song I'm Not Okay by MCR is my new theme song.
It just seems to fit everytime.
:))
"And the only thing I could seem to care about was the fact that I didn't care about anything."
^^Love that movie :))
Actually doing something social this weekend. But I get the feeling I'm gonna be a creeper in a corner watching the goings on. But that's ohkayy with me. Its more comfortable.
You can't swim, you can't dance, and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it.
Monday, August 10, 2009
stars are gleaming
Ughh, I am soooo sick of my generations pop culture!!
There is a reason there's a book about us called The Dumbest Generation.
I shit you not,
I started reading it.
(I gave up though, It got monotonous.)
T@ylor L@utner was barely there in Twilight.
And he wins fresh face!?
Hello, Dev Patel?!
Are you all insane.
He's amazingly talented!!
*shakeshead*
Stupid teenage sheep.
I'd rather be a dingo.
XD
It is a special one, its never seen the sun. It only comes out in the night when the stars are gleaming.
There is a reason there's a book about us called The Dumbest Generation.
I shit you not,
I started reading it.
(I gave up though, It got monotonous.)
T@ylor L@utner was barely there in Twilight.
And he wins fresh face!?
Hello, Dev Patel?!
Are you all insane.
He's amazingly talented!!
*shakeshead*
Stupid teenage sheep.
I'd rather be a dingo.
XD
It is a special one, its never seen the sun. It only comes out in the night when the stars are gleaming.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
youre
I don't want to wait.
I like you.
But you're 'confused'.
I can sit around and wait for you to figure it out.
(Like I have many other choices.)
But,
What if your confusion just ends as friendship.
Which is ohkay.
I think being together would be hard.
We have two different circles of friends.
That'd be weird.
But,
I can't help it.
I like you.
Huh.
Wonder how this'll turn out.
You're so hypnotizing.
I like you.
But you're 'confused'.
I can sit around and wait for you to figure it out.
(Like I have many other choices.)
But,
What if your confusion just ends as friendship.
Which is ohkay.
I think being together would be hard.
We have two different circles of friends.
That'd be weird.
But,
I can't help it.
I like you.
Huh.
Wonder how this'll turn out.
You're so hypnotizing.
Friday, August 7, 2009
waste of breath
From day one I talked about getting out,
But not forgetting about,
How all my worst fears were letting out.
He said:
"Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
When breathing just passes the time,
Until we all just get old and die.".
Now talkings just a waste of breath,
And livings just a waste of death,
And why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
And this is you and me,
And me and you,
Until we've got nothing left.
But not forgetting about,
How all my worst fears were letting out.
He said:
"Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
When breathing just passes the time,
Until we all just get old and die.".
Now talkings just a waste of breath,
And livings just a waste of death,
And why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
And this is you and me,
And me and you,
Until we've got nothing left.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
fall together
Brrrr.
I am freezing!!
My black nail polish is missing :(
I had to use my mermaidy stuff.
Reading...
Have to run later.
Bored Bored Bored.
Our water's back.
It disappeared for a bit.
Hhehhe.
Watching W@tchmen on my Ipod a lot.
Hhahha, I have NO! life.
Gonna go put my new banner up on Mysp@ce
See Ya.
We will fall together.
I am freezing!!
My black nail polish is missing :(
I had to use my mermaidy stuff.
Reading...
Have to run later.
Bored Bored Bored.
Our water's back.
It disappeared for a bit.
Hhehhe.
Watching W@tchmen on my Ipod a lot.
Hhahha, I have NO! life.
Gonna go put my new banner up on Mysp@ce
See Ya.
We will fall together.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
upon entering
For the past few days,
Even the thought of eating food makes me nauseous.
Actually looking at it is worse.
But as soon as I start to eat,
It goes away.
I'm so confused.
Even thinking about going to brush my teeth right now is making me feel sick to my stomach.
Ughh.
Went up to the falls in Ithica.
Managed to be the only person who fell on dry rock.
Scraped my hip up nicely.
Very fun.
No really,
It was.
The water was realllyy nice.
Ahh...
Oh yeah,
I also crashed through a door in on a drivers ed class on a spinning rolling chair.
That was fun.
*rollseyes*
Ick,
I'm still dead tired.
I took a 2 hour nap and I'm still ttly blah.
Tomorrow's the full moon.
Yayy :)
I love the full moon.
Any practiced Catholic would cross themselves upon entering.
Even the thought of eating food makes me nauseous.
Actually looking at it is worse.
But as soon as I start to eat,
It goes away.
I'm so confused.
Even thinking about going to brush my teeth right now is making me feel sick to my stomach.
Ughh.
Went up to the falls in Ithica.
Managed to be the only person who fell on dry rock.
Scraped my hip up nicely.
Very fun.
No really,
It was.
The water was realllyy nice.
Ahh...
Oh yeah,
I also crashed through a door in on a drivers ed class on a spinning rolling chair.
That was fun.
*rollseyes*
Ick,
I'm still dead tired.
I took a 2 hour nap and I'm still ttly blah.
Tomorrow's the full moon.
Yayy :)
I love the full moon.
Any practiced Catholic would cross themselves upon entering.
Monday, August 3, 2009
i cant fight
Soooo....Talked to Barb about my dirty dish problem.
But I kinda only remembered with about 6 minutes to go.
She gave me some stuff do to about it.
And I don't wanna do it.
The idea scares me shitless.
I really confused her,
Cause I have no aversion to other dirty things.
It's just the food for me.
But I have stuff to do,
And I'm not allowed to tell you Mom cause you could end up pressuring me and stressing me out even more which is the opposite of the idea.
I know you wouldn't do it on purpose but still.
I'm getting to be a pretty fast typist when I stop thinking about it and just type.
If I think about it I start messing up and slowing down like right now.
But when I'm not thinking my fingers just kinda work learned behavior.
Some words are super easy because I use them so much.
Like my finger goes straight to the shift button whenever I type "I".
Hhhehhe, its funn :))
Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight.
But I kinda only remembered with about 6 minutes to go.
She gave me some stuff do to about it.
And I don't wanna do it.
The idea scares me shitless.
I really confused her,
Cause I have no aversion to other dirty things.
It's just the food for me.
But I have stuff to do,
And I'm not allowed to tell you Mom cause you could end up pressuring me and stressing me out even more which is the opposite of the idea.
I know you wouldn't do it on purpose but still.
I'm getting to be a pretty fast typist when I stop thinking about it and just type.
If I think about it I start messing up and slowing down like right now.
But when I'm not thinking my fingers just kinda work learned behavior.
Some words are super easy because I use them so much.
Like my finger goes straight to the shift button whenever I type "I".
Hhhehhe, its funn :))
Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
possibly expect
Creepy neighbor kids.
Ugh.
Family Functions.
Double ugh.
Sure, Jack is cute.
And Maddox.
But still.
Ugh.
What did you possibly expect under these conditions?
Ugh.
Family Functions.
Double ugh.
Sure, Jack is cute.
And Maddox.
But still.
Ugh.
What did you possibly expect under these conditions?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
the real me
Ohmigod, last night at work me and Mike had to count the number of volunteer hours per person...Over three years.
I got the longest consecutive stint:
22Hours some guy was here.
But he won with the most amount of hours.
Some guy spent 418 hours there.
That's just over 20 days!
Isn't that insane!?
I'm glad I didn't have to count that!
It was funny,
He got the half with the people who are always there.
Hhehhe.
Oh yeah, and Matt broke the pencil sharpener.
It was really funny.
So, I was laughing at him,
Which made him laugh,
and then he was like,
Don't laugh this is tragic and depressing!
So I said, Then why are you laughing?
Hhhahha.
So he kinda trashed the pencil sharpener job.
Then we all looked on Mr.Williams list for somethiing to do.
It was all a bunch of things.....
With no instructions as to how to do them.
One of them was 'Fix Moon'.
I am being completely serious.
He had 'Fix Moon' on his list.
We asked Mr.C to try and figure out the list.
Even he was totally baffled about the Moon thing.
It was great.
Then we had to learn how to load the paper towel thing.
And the toilet was gross apparently.
Idk, I didn't see cause I generally don't go into stalls in the guy's bathroom.
So Matt took it on himself to fix it.
I had to go get the plunger out of the girl's room.
I don't know why, but this was completely hilarious to me.
So they made fun of me for laughing.
All in good fun.
hhahha.
So, me and Mike are changing the paper towels in the Kitchen,
When Matt walks out with the gross plunger...
Which I had to return to the Girl's room :P
Fun stuff.
I also re-organized the Art Supply Closet.
While I was doing that,
The guys were doing a recycling and garbage run.
They went around the place and got all the recyclables and trash to take out.
Well, apparently Mike tripped over a cinder block outside..
And fell into a recycling bin full of water.
hhahhahhahhahhahha!
And that is all the fun stories of the evening.
:D
You can turn all the lights on and show me the real me.
I got the longest consecutive stint:
22Hours some guy was here.
But he won with the most amount of hours.
Some guy spent 418 hours there.
That's just over 20 days!
Isn't that insane!?
I'm glad I didn't have to count that!
It was funny,
He got the half with the people who are always there.
Hhehhe.
Oh yeah, and Matt broke the pencil sharpener.
It was really funny.
So, I was laughing at him,
Which made him laugh,
and then he was like,
Don't laugh this is tragic and depressing!
So I said, Then why are you laughing?
Hhhahha.
So he kinda trashed the pencil sharpener job.
Then we all looked on Mr.Williams list for somethiing to do.
It was all a bunch of things.....
With no instructions as to how to do them.
One of them was 'Fix Moon'.
I am being completely serious.
He had 'Fix Moon' on his list.
We asked Mr.C to try and figure out the list.
Even he was totally baffled about the Moon thing.
It was great.
Then we had to learn how to load the paper towel thing.
And the toilet was gross apparently.
Idk, I didn't see cause I generally don't go into stalls in the guy's bathroom.
So Matt took it on himself to fix it.
I had to go get the plunger out of the girl's room.
I don't know why, but this was completely hilarious to me.
So they made fun of me for laughing.
All in good fun.
hhahha.
So, me and Mike are changing the paper towels in the Kitchen,
When Matt walks out with the gross plunger...
Which I had to return to the Girl's room :P
Fun stuff.
I also re-organized the Art Supply Closet.
While I was doing that,
The guys were doing a recycling and garbage run.
They went around the place and got all the recyclables and trash to take out.
Well, apparently Mike tripped over a cinder block outside..
And fell into a recycling bin full of water.
hhahhahhahhahhahha!
And that is all the fun stories of the evening.
:D
You can turn all the lights on and show me the real me.
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